ALPGreens

Now the ALP has morphed into the ALPGreens I thought readers might like to read Jack the Insiders definitions of the various Green factions. Green Greens (evangelis environmentalis)

are veterans of environmental battles from days of yore. They have spent their youths chained to trees and all own a collection of embarrassing photographs where they’re seen wearing chunky woollen jumpers and those silly beanies with ear flaps. They embody what many people think the Greens really should stand for but their numbers are dwindling and with the retirement of their eco-warrior, Bob Brown looming, their influence within the party will diminish.

Then there are the blue Greens (medicus soccermumus).

The former MLA for Fremantle, Adele Carles – her of the ill-fated love affair with WA Treasurer Troy Buswell – is one such creature. Blue Greens are those of a conservative political bent who have roused politically in something of a mid-life crisis. Known to have voted Liberal in the past, they now furrow their brows and fret over climate change, environmental destruction and what is to be done about the children. Blue Greens are a relatively rare species and have little authority within the party.

Red Greens (rufus hammerandsicklus)

are neither environmentalists nor SUV driving mothers of 3.4 children. They are political refugees from the far left. Not welcome in the Labor Party since the 1970s, these folk wandered the political wilderness until the Green movement appeared on the political stage and they found a home. Ms Rhiannon is a walking exemplar of a red Green.

Simple, isn’t it?